It all started to go to hell when our flight "attendant", Oleg, told us wine would be $4.50. Amy had improved my dread of our 7 hour flight from Toronto to Moscow by telling me of the FREE liqour on our international flight. When Oleg told us in his broken English of the charge recharged my dread. We dug around in our pockets (Amy's, not mine... we all know substitutes have no money) while Amy recaped her travel history including over 30 international flights; all of which included free liquor. 
If you are young, attractive, well-educated, speaking foreign language, diligent, and communicative we can offer You an air steward placement.
While Amy desperatly searched for loose change, I noticed there was no TV in front of me. Instead, a 15" screen was located on the ceiling 5 rows ahead. More dread. I dug out my noise reduction headphones and pluged them into the jack, wiggled them several times and tunned into the feature film; a 1970 movie in Russian with English subtitles as big as 12 font Airal; not bolded. I'm not entirely sure what the movie was about, but it played 3 times, back to back... just in case you missed one of those little subtitles.
Amy managed to scrounge up $5 in change (a toonie and 3 loonies). She waited excitedly for our "attendant" to return hoping for a Russian wine she had never heard about. The food cart was coming down the aisle; at least we were going to be fed. Olev, clearly Oleg's sister, told us there was no more choice. We were going to have fish for dinner. All be it, salmon cooked 3 different ways; smoked, steamed and baked. Amy asked for white wine, repeated herself several times and then was informed that the airline only accepted paper money. We must have missed that in the fine print. Olev pointed to Amy's colourful Canadian money with the harmless loon and soon to be endangered Polar Bear and we basfully pocketed the useless money.
While we ate, people kept walking by carefully caryring their own empty food trays to the back. They appear to be to be unphased. As if they've flown this airline many times and have long since accepted its shortcomings.
The flight isn't all that bad. Besides Amy there are 3 other good looking girls. Yes, what a pig I am. I like to people watch. Attractive girls are just more enjoyable to watch. Blondie has a PSP I desperately want (the PSP that is) She appears to be travelling with her brother--I hope--and her sister. Another Russian is behind us stretched out over 3 empty seats behind us. She looks as though she could possibly be an internet porn star, or at least a mail order bride gone wrong. Neither of these people are interesting to watch. More interestingly, a mother and her 3 children were ahead of us. Her husband looked rich and twice her age, but I'm not one to judge. She obviously is hte enforcer of the couple and I enjoy myself watch her try to get kids, who don't appear to be hers, behave.
The loud guy behind me who, until now, consistantly gossiped about office politics, is snoring loudly. People around him giggle and make eyes. I wish I had a permanent marker.
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