McKid dispute

For the record, I hate commercials. They’re horribly written, poorly cast and down right stupid ideas. Full of unintelligent catch phrases and jingles that get stuck in your head. The only good commercial McDicks has ever had were the adventures of Ronald himself, staring the Burgler, Grimace, the bird and those little fry people with legs. Too bad they were cancelled because of the obese youth. You can blame that one entirely on the parents.

When the “Corn-a-copia of awesomeness” flew out of the mouth of the casted typical teenager (braces, slightly tilted hat, rat-stash, poor excuse for sideburns) the first words that flew out of mine were “shut the hell up!” I didn’t consider if it was scripted, or if McKid came up with it on his own; it was a catch phrase and a poor one at that.

J-Dubb has won the King of Wit and Sarcasm title many times over (not to mention the Spiteful heavy weight belt as well). It’s foolish attempting to get out of this using excuses like I was only acting; I don’t really talk like that. Or, I made some money doing it. J-Dubb will eat you like a Quarter Pounder hung over on Sunday.

The point is this McKid, you either thought long and hard about your punch line, it just popped into your head and slid out of your mouth, or it was scripted. Chances are it wasn’t scripted because you haven’t used that as an excuse (which would have been mine). No, I think McDonalds went out looking to “reach” all ages and genders with their Oscar winning commercial and they needed a teenager. Tell me, McKid (I’ll never get tired of that name. Thank you to whoever came up with it) was there a casting call on 94.9 that you answered because you fit the typical screwed up teenage youth of today? Did you get your “acting” resume together and saunter to the audition wearing your tilted hat and best clothes? Naw, I bet you were actually in McDonalds eating that shit when they approached you explaining what they were doing and asked if you wanted to say a few words for some cash and a free meal. No cue cards. No script. No prompting.

They told you to be yourself. So, you slouched there and started to speak in what could only be described as Cape Breton dialect. How bleak our future is if that’s the best use of the English language an educated teenager can come up with. Yes, educated. I’m sure you go to school, or at least went to school.

People are pleading J-Dubb and his court of jesters not to attack Cape Breton with stereotypes. Yet, there you are on national TV (it’s probably been translated into Chinese by now) and plastered on the internet (http://onegiganticcornucopiaofawesomeness.ytmnd.com) “acting out”—or faking as your “friend” Steven says—those stereotypes; not to mention the stereotypes portraying your fellow teenagers as ignorant, unhealthy punks.

So, you see? You’re an idiot if you claim you were acting like a “typical” Cape Bretoner and you’re an idiot if you claim you were being yourself because it was such an unintelligent use of English language (simply put, it was a dumb thing to say). Either way McKid, you are a McMoron.

-KAZ